The Joys and Guilt of Motherhood

Does it tell you anything when I say that I have been writing this post for 3 days?  I start writing, and just as quickly am pulled away for feedings, diaper changes, homework and hugs.  Before Morgan was born, my mother jokingly said to me "You cannot consider yourself a mother until you have two children".  I laughed when she said it, but am quickly learning that there was some truth to her words.  Now, of course, I am not in any way trying to insinuate that those of us with only one child are not mothers, but the dynamic in our household has certainly changed now that we have two.  I feel like I need to write about this - and think for the first time since starting this blog, I need to be completely exposed and vulnerable.  I may get some hate comments, but hey, this is me.

I feel somewhat blessed that Morgan was born during the school year.  I'm not sure how I would juggle all of the feedings (he is an eating machine) and having to entertain and give attention to a 5 year old while being EXTREMELY sleep deprived.  I think I would seriously lose my mind.  I keep catching myself snapping at Addison and barking orders at her - and I feel terrible.  I feel like all I do is yell at her, and she a great kid!  But, I have noticed it - and I'm working on it.  I do not in any way want her to feel left out or resentful towards her brother.  Next week she is off from school for spring break, which should prove interesting.  I'm hoping we can spend the week bonding and enjoying some fun activities - she needs some quality time with her mommy.  I just feel so guilty when she asks me to do something with her (always in the middle of feeding Morgan) and I have to tell her to wait.  Wait, wait wait - all that poor kid does is wait lately.  GUILT.

On the baby front - tired does not even begin to describe me lately.  I decided to breast feed, and it's flipping hard.  Not gonna lie.  I almost threw in the towel so many times, but have stuck it out so far.  I have shed many a tear over it during the last few weeks, but feel like it's starting to come together.  There are many times though that I have cringed when Morgan starts crying to eat - it's plain painful sometimes.  I'm tough though, and I think I can get through it.  GUILT.

No matter how tired I get, when I look at my sweet children I see how blessed we are.  They are healthy and happy, and they bring such joy to our lives.  I never would have known that these two little beings could fill up my heart so much.  And my hubby?  He has been such a godsend over the past few weeks (months really).  He has been so supportive, helpful and encouraging - I don't know what I would do without him.  I feel like I am falling in love with him all over again. 

Wow - my hormones are in overdrive.  I'm gushing here.  Isn't it incredible how you can feel so many emotions at once?  I feel like such a sap. Being a mom of two is such a change.  I am confident that we will get into a groove and things will get easier.  In the meantime I need to enjoy this time with a newborn.  He will never be this small again.

Speaking of which, he's fussing again.  Poor little man has the hiccups (for the second time today).  He hasn't slept all morning - I need a shower!!  C'mon Morgan - sleep!!

XOXO...Yawn

Friday I'm In Love with Easter!!

Wow - you never know how crazy your life gets with a baby until they arrive.  I want to write more on this subject - but it will have to wait for a later date.  Right now I want to focus on my Friday I'm In Love favorites...Easter edition!

I was browsing through some of my favorite linky parties this week and found some amazing Easter and Spring projects.  The first is this gorgeous mantle from Jennifer at Laughter and Grace.  I absolutely love all of the pale spring colors and the use of the moss on the letter inside the frame.  So pretty!!

Aimee at It's Overflowing is always amazing me with her creative and beautiful table displays.  I love all of the white she used here - so crisp clean and fresh.  Perfect for spring!  White tulips are my absolute FAVORITE!!

All I can say is OMG - how adorable are these Carrot Napkin Holders?  Vanessa shares the tutorial on how to make these over at her blog Nifty Thrifty Things - so cute, right??

This free Easter Printable from ChiWei at One Dog Woof is beautiful.  I love how she captures the true meaning of Easter - a must have for my mantle (if I can muster up the energy to do an Easter mantle this year).  Head on over to her blog to snag it for yourself!!

Finally, Taryn over at Design Dining + Diapers made this gorgeous Tea Stained Wreath for her daughter's first birthday party.  The colors are so pretty though and I can totally see adapting this as a Spring or Easter wreath.  I love this so much!  Taryn, will you come make me one??

Those are my favorites for this week - so inspiring!!  If you were featured, feel free to grab a button from my sidebar.

XOXO

Morgan's Nursery Reveal

I am emerging from my baby fog (while he naps) to FINALLY post the nursery reveal pictures!  We are all doing well, and baby Morgan has put on over a pound since we brought him home.  This, of course, means that I am a baby feeding machine right now.  All he does is eat, but we are so glad to see him doing so well, so I'll take it!

If you remember, this is the inspiration board I put together before we actually started decorating the room.  I think it came out pretty close to the inspiration.  I still may add a few things, but for now, it's pretty much done.

Here's the final room!  I was able to add some fun vintage baby items from when my husband was a baby - I think that's the best part!

 Hubby made these shelves - didn't the come out great?  The framed outfit on the left was what hubby came home from the hospital in, and all of the baby shoes were his as well.

 I found this old vintage sock monkey and a bunch of 1970s children's books at an antique store in town.

This quilt was a $15 find at The Queen of Hearts Antique gallery in Buford.

So, I still might make a mobile, and there is a wall (not shown) that is kind of bare, and I may hang something there as well.  I think my favorite thing in the room is the curtains!  I found them on Etsy and am totally in love with the chevron!

Hope you liked his room!  Hopefully it will stay his organized (doubtful).  LOL.

XOXO

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Potpourri Friday at 2805

Friday I'm In Love with a Pop of Color

Friday I'm in Love is back - and I'm feeling quite ambitious today!  Baby is settling in, so I thought I would venture out and hit the community yard sale in my neighborhood this morning.  I'm hoping to find some cheap baby stuff to eliminate some pricey items off of my "still need" list.  Then, I have a disaster of a house to clean, a baby to feed (and feed, and feed...) - and last but not least - this post. 

Everywhere I turn I am seeing brights - from clothing to decor - you name it.  In my "spare time" this week, I managed to find a few projects in the blogosphere that caught my eye.  So, without delay - here are my picks for this week!

The first project is this Awesome dresser redo from Jenn at My Fabuless Life.  I seriously never would have thought to paint something watermelon pink - but this totally works!  I LOVE the color!  You have to check out the before and after transformation on her blog.

I heart all of the pops of color in Chrissy's dining room makeover over at Hoot Designs.  This space looks so relaxed.  I could totally see myself hanging out with friends over some wine.  I just love this look!

 The $2 shelves look so perfect in Jamie's nursery!  She shares the tutorial on how she made the shelves over at The Letter 4.  How cute is this little vignette?  LOVE!

I think I may need to be picking up a new skill - needlepoint!  How adorable is this Embroidery Hoop Name Art made by Jennifer at The Brilliant Crafty Type?  I love the use of different fonts, and of course the bright colors!  Yup - I think I need to learn how to do this!

And finally - the ruffles on this T-shirt that Jamie made for her daughter are so cute!  Such a great way to turn a plain white T into adorable!  She shares the full tutorial over at Scattered Thoughts of a Crafty Mom, and also shares the matching shorts and skirt that she made to go with it!

I hope you enjoyed my favorites this week!  If you were featured, feel free to grab a button from my sidebar.  Have a wonderful weekend - enjoy this spring weather we have been having!!

XOXO

Sweet Baby Boy

The past week has been such a blur.  Little man was 5lbs 9oz at birth, and is already up to 6lbs!  We are so proud of our little guy, but let me tell you - mama is T-I-R-E-D from all of the late night feedings!  This guy eats almost every two hours during the night and sleeps all day.  We need to fix that.  But, when I see the baby fat starting to form it makes me so happy to know that he is healthy, and it's all worth it.

Exhaustion aside, I'm starting to feel somewhat like myself again.  I know I've been neglecting the blog a bit - but hopefully I can squeeze in some writing in between feedings and naps.  The nursery was unfinished due to his early arrival, but I will be sharing it with you all very soon (I'm kind of in love with it!).

The hospital had a photographer come in and take some professional photos of little Morgan.  They came out great, but I wish they would have told me that I would make an appearance in one of them.  I had no makeup and greasy hair - oh well!!

This one is my favorite!!

Love this shot with Daddy!!

My little old man...

I know I should be a model.  I AM the picture of beauty here let me tell you! I already have Harper's Bazaar beating down my door!  Who could blame them with my snazzy hospital gown I'm wearing?

I have missed you guys!!  More to come!!

XOXO

Announcing Morgan Salvatore Hayes

Baby Morgan arrived on Tuesday, March 6 at 12:23pm!  We weren't expecting him so soon - he was 3 1/2 weeks early!

Long story short, Monday night after dinner I had a pretty bad headache, and noticed that my vision was kind of blurry - all signs that my blood pressure was high.  So, for about an hour and a half, I took my blood pressure, and it kept getting worse.  By the time I finally decided to call the doctor's office, it was 184/104. They told me to go ahead and come down to the hospital again (I just spent the night there last week).  This time, I was prepared - I packed extra clothes and some snacks so I didn't get stuck having to wear my hospital gown the whole time and would have plenty of food to eat (I was starving last time).

Once I arrived at the hospital, they told me they would monitor me overnight, just like last time.  My assumption was that everything would be fine, and they would send me home the next day.  Hubby, on the other hand, had a funny feeling that we wouldn't be coming home without a baby.  I thought he was nuts!

So, everything was looking good Tuesday morning, my blood pressure had gone down, and we were just waiting on some lab work to come back.  As a precaution, they rolled me down to get an ultrasound.  Last week everything looked great, so I had no doubt in my mind that everything would be the same.  To my surprise, after the tech finished with the ultrasound, the doctor came in to look at everything.  He informed me that my fluids were low, and that the baby hadn't really grown in the past week.  That, combined with my high BP, and potential preclampsia - he told me his recommendation was to go ahead and take the baby out.

Whoa - what?!?  "Like in a few days...next week?", I asked.

"Or today" he said.  "I am going to call your OB and we'll come up with a plan".

I was floored - this was really happening.  My baby boy was 3 1/2 weeks early, almost full term, but I was still a little scared.  About an hour went by, and I was waiting for the doc to come in and give me the plan.  Instead my nurse came in and took some blood.  Then she said, "So, you're getting a C-Section?  They told me to start prepping you."

WHAT???  "Prepping me?" I asked.

"Yes" she said, "You're having a C-Section at noon".  NOON!!

"Like 2 1/2 hours from now noon?"  holy moly.  I needed to call hubby!  He had gone home late the night before and he was going to have to book it down to the hospital.  I needed him to hold my hand during the epidural!!

Hubby made it, and before I knew it they were wheeling me down to surgery.  Everything went well, and once I heard that tiny little cry, I knew the baby was ok.  He was so small - only 5lbs, 9oz.  Almost a full three pounds less than Addie had been.

He is doing great, and we are all so in love with him.  We finally get to go home tomorrow - can't wait!!

Here are some pics of the family.  I will post more once we get home and I can edit them.  YAY!  Baby Morgan is here!!!

I won't be able to post my Friday I'm In Love favorites tomorrow.  I will be enjoying my new love instead!!

XOXO

Jenn

Showered With Love

I need to start out by saying that I feel so blessed to have so many amazing people in my life!  This past Saturday my Sisters In Law and friend Ginger (from the Savvy Shanty) threw me a baby shower at Ginger's house. 

OMG - Ginger seriously did an amazing job with the decor and food.  She picked up the 70s Vintage theme from Baby H's room and totally ran with it. The whole shower was a 1977 theme (for the year I was born).  It was so colorful and just perfect - right down to the food.  She even served my favorite (fish sticks and macaroni and cheese)...yes you heard that correctly!  LOL.  I love them! 

Please forgive me for posting so many pics - I just can't help but share EVERYTHING - it was so awesome! 

OK - so before I go on, I neglected to tell you all last week that I spent about 24 hours in the hospital.  Not to worry, everything is fine, but when I went in for my regular check up, my blood pressure was high...so the doc sent me down to be monitored.  Needless to say, they ran tests and released me, but not before they proceeded to give me like 4 bags of IV fluid.  Now, I am a swollen nightmare.  This whole pregnancy I have managed to escape the swelling, until now.  Now my face and body look like a water balloon.  Oh well - only 2 1/2 weeks to go!

 This was a fun 1977 trivia game we played.  I didn't win, boo!

Me with my hostesses, Addie and Miss Priss (Ginger's Daughter). 

Thank you to Ashleigh, Brooke and Ginger for throwing me an amazing shower!  Thank you also to all of the friends and family who attended.  Baby H is coming into this world with so many people who love him!!

XOXO